Then, there was Her.

The 7 Deadly Sins

Lust – to have an intense desire or need

Gluttony – excess in eating and drinking

Greed - excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness

Laziness – disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous

Wrath – strong vengeful anger or indignation

Envy – painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

Pride - quality or state of being proud – inordinate self esteem

These are the 7 deadly sins of which I have recently came across and realized that I possess not many but all of them. Even though I am aware that humans naturally execute these sins, I refuse to continue my way of life. I feel as if my friend was right. I need to be at my worse to know how good I have it, and yes, I had it good. The person that I currently am is not what I strive to be. I dont even recall how I got this way. Being in college I got the freedom to do things and I guess I took advantage of this and it all suddenly got out of hand. Since September, I have spent almost 1k on useless, materialistic materials and fancy dinings. Who does that…. I should know better, seeing how my parents are struggling so bad. I guess I am glad for this realization. So with that said, I am determine to change my ways and be a better person. 

Okay, I might sound desperate but I leaning towards to really wanting a boyfriend. It’s been two years exactly now that I’ve been on my own. And I don’t know why but that feeling of wanting a companion is back. Maybe I got a glimpse of how it feels to have one that’s why I want more. But dang, it wouldn’t be nice right? My best friend is right. It’d be nice to have someone right now and have them go through all that you’re going through with you until you end up where you want to be. And for me that’ll be nice. But it’s really hard to right the right guy. And that chance of getting hurt and taken advantage of is making me hesitant. Yeah I know it’s foolish but you cant be top careful.

It’s been a while

The realization that posting an entry on a daily basis is tough work got me to work harder and be more persistent. Seeing how LAZY of a girl I am lately, I got real disappointed in myself. For the past months, I don’t feel as if I studied at all. Usually I would be, but this year has been so bad I don’t know what I am doing anymore. My horoscope was right about leaving me with more questions than answers. But this applies to many aspects of my life. For instance what am I doing in the future, dental school or masters/teaching? It’s quite hard to decide since what I have is not good enough for what I want to be. Why do I have to get so distracted so easily. Well I guess the Marc response will answer my questions, hopefully.

So what’s up with you? Haven’t heard from you since Friday. What are you trying to prove? Get at? Because from the looks of things, I have no idea what to do with you. So private and hidden it’s confusing. I have noticed that you only reach out to me when school is in session, which means that you need a ‘booty call’ where I am only needed bc you have no one else. But then there’s times where I can see that you’re genuine. Very caring and interest in my time and wanting more. But this always happens when you go and run off quietly for a couple of days, majority weekends, and return right when the week begins. It is hard to trust you. And I know you asked me that and I didn’t answer it. Well it’s true, I am sure you’re aware of that, bc if I let you in, seeing how you’re all experienced and all, you can take advantage of me if you wanted to. So until I am positive that you won’t, I can’t do it. But then again, I guess it’s the dorment stage right now where we can both pretend that there’s nothing.

Hm I quite exited for San Diego. Hopefully I’ll be able to see how it’s like to be drunk. I know I’m in good hands so it’s all good and my parents won’t be there for them to judge, or for me to get into trouble. Let’s just have fun

Hi tumblr

HI. I feel as if I have lost all abilities to organize my train of thoughts, generate ideas, and basicially execute any communication wanted. I dont know if its due to the fact that I am currently on break and not having my brain constantly thinking and working, but I feel as if my brain is weak. It was not like before. If I was asked certain questions, let say three months ago, I would be able to answer swiftly and easily. however, right now, I feel as if its a challenge. something that i will have to work hard for all over again.